I've hijacked Steve's blog..... he's assured me he doesn't mind......
Steve's now halfway through his first 6 cycles of chemo and I think it would be fair to say that this one has been a bit tougher than the previous 2. We had been prepared for that - most people have told us that chemo has a cumulative effect, with each cycle getting a bit harder.... a bit more fatigued ..... a bit more bothered by the cold..... a bit more pain in your fingers and toes...... it all sounds quite manageable when you put it like that, but I would imagine it's a bit like parenthood, you have no idea what it's really like until you're the one going through it.
Of course I'm not the one who's going through it, I feel like a father in the delivery room, watching the person I love, my soul mate, going through the most difficult experience and feeling powerless to do anything to help.
In many ways it reminds me of this time 18 years ago when we brought James home from hospital. We were, like most new parents excited, terrified and more than a little dazed and confused. We had no idea what to expect, we had set out on a path and we didn't know where that path would lead us, so we held on tight to each other and kept on putting one foot in front of the other. In those days when we were worn down by a baby that didn't seem to sleep when we wanted him to and cried for reasons that were a mystery to us, we'd console each other with a smile and say "well the last 5 minutes hasn't been too bad, has it?".
So once again we are learning, together, to take each day, sometimes each hour as it comes. It's another adventure, certainly not one we would have chosen to embark upon, but not without it's moments of joy.
The greatest joy has without doubt been the support of our amazing friends and family who have held us together through these first few weeks. Claire who rings us to check if we need anything when she does her weekly shop. My mum who drives Steve to and from his various appointments in Cheltenham every week. Mark and Anita who brighten every Sunday evening with a Skype chat that is filled with love and laughter. The people who send us funny jokes and stories to keep our spirits up. The friends who text or call or pop round just to check in with us and see how things are going. Our fantastic work colleagues who have gone above and beyond in their willingness to support us and of course our wonderful sons, James and Matt who have risen to a whole new level of maturity in the face of this adversity. We are so grateful to each and every one of you who is sharing this journey with us.
Quite a few people have been interested in what we are eating in our sugar free, dairy free, meat free, unprocessed diet (we really should think up a catchy name for that) and so with this in mind I have added a few links to the side of the blog for those of you that are interested we will add recipes as we go along. I have also added some links to other things that Steve and I have found have helped us on our journey so far.
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